Creating Sparks That Last & All Things Relationships

Spending In   Instead of spending out on a date event, we ranked ourselves important enough to pursue projects we both wanted to accomplish in our home. Investing in ourselves should always be a priority. So often we pretty-up areas in our home that are highly visible instead of improving unused areas. It seems a waste and yet it is not. It's the same with our relationships - you create value in spaces otherwise wasted by spending time on each others' needs, making them visible and valuing their role in our commitment to each other. Our 'Spending In' date doubled as fulfilling each others' desire for empty spaces to be filled by finding solutions that work rather than throwing out something (or someone) just because it's (they are) outdated. By transforming ourselves into practical functionality we rediscover purpose and intention, giving ourselves a new lease on life. Approval (ie we need only accept each others' differences) is not necessarily required, o

In Your Very Own Private Dance Studio One of my most favourite memories, whilst living temporarily in a foreign land, was learning the Bolero dance with my husband. We knew no-one, we didn’t know the area well, and so we took it upon ourselves to learn something new; the Bolero dance. My husband is not a natural on the dance floor, not that I am either, but what I mean, is that the very fact that he willingly undertook this project with me, knowing that he was out of his comfort zone, was the most romantic thing he could ever have done. My husband the Dance Floor Hero, I was smitten. Date night is so simple to invent, with just a little creativity. Usually, it means the absolute world when one or the other partner goes out of their way to create a memorable experience. I’m curious, what seemingly uneventful experience turned out to be the most romantic date for you and your partner?

  Invest in your relationship to deepen its worth Here we are, mid-way through our date year experiment and this one ended up being away from home  in the Philippines, so it made sense to incorporate date night into our holiday.  James and I had only arrived in the Philippines a couple of hours before; we had left Sydney in the early morning in the middle of winter knowing full well that we were arriving to high humidity. I was dressed in a spencer, long sleeved polo neck, scarf and jacket. While waiting for our luggage I took off my scarf and jacket but couldn’t remove my long sleeved polo neck because I only had a spencer underneath – James looked at me, sweat pouring from my beet red face and said as if surprised, “Aren’t you hot?” What ensued I cannot be sure except for the fact that I answered him in a flurry of colourful words from which he calmly turned to collect our luggage. Aren’t I hot? Of course I’m hot, I’m boiling, what did he think I would be feeling? There was no air co

How do You Stay Married Until “Death do you part”? Note: Today's post is an extract from @mrshillaryvance via Instagram. She is a Therapist, Coach & Educator. With her permission, I have paraphrased some poignant thoughts about long-term relationship commitment: So many people don’t really weigh the gravity of the FOREVER part or consider what it really means (or actually looks like) to love someone forever. A lot less people would probably get married if they did! But in all seriousness, marriage is pretty awesome and it’s totally worth it with the right person (but potentially disastrous with the wrong person).  I think it’s time more people weigh the seriousness of forever and start talking about the glossed over realities of what most marriages look like day in and day out (it’s definitely not always G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S). All this to say, marriages will have their ups and downs...the good days and bad days, the “I think you’re hot” and “I think you’re not,” days, but what rea

Breakfast With a View The point of this outing was to breakfast with a view. It began with a side of misunderstanding. A view we had, from a vantage point up in the clouds of the office block where James worked, what I hadn’t realized was that James had asked whether I’d like a bacon bun from a local cafe or a wrap from the office canteen. I opted for a bacon bun from the local cafe which meant extra time out of his work day, unbeknownst to me. Not only that, he carved time out of his frenetic working day to have lunch we me as well from a different vantage point overlooking the southern view from of his office block. He made time for me! I’m supposed to be making time for us. Which I am, but James proved to be more than willing to go the extra mile in making our dates superb!  I made my own way home after lunch, traversing the 40-odd kilometre’s via train, Metro and car once more. James took the sedate bus ride home later that evening with a demure driver happy to deliver his passenge

Goddess Frump I Have Silver Streaks in my Hair – Deal With It We'll take a Festive break here to celebrate ourselves. Have fun with this article I penned about frumps. 54 Years ago I had no hair, no teeth, couldn’t speak and I cried a lot. People loved me. Today, I have hair, I can speak and I cry only a little. People still love me. My hair has silver streaks in it – and those same people still love me. My teeth are crooked and tinged with a faint acknowledgement of a coffee addiction – still, people love me. My point is, I am a frump and I freaking love being a frump. I will not try to be anything else and people will still love me – for me. For who I really am. For my wrinkles and the silver streaks in my hair. The only expectations I have are self-respect. So long as I maintain my own standards of integrity I am brazenly me. Goddess Frump. That is who I am. It has taken me a long time to get there, 19 615 days give or take. I have spent approximately 28 245 600 minutes

Not Jurassic Park   Only into month 4 of our Date Year and I am already learning so much more about James than I ever imagined possible. Just because we are in close proximity to each other does not mean we know everything about the other – or ourselves for that matter. What you see and know about yourself from the inside is not what your partner sees from the outside. What I do know about James is that the ocean is his calm space. It feeds his soul. The forest is mine. That’s a fundamental difference you might think and it is. But somehow we have made it work for us. I like the ocean and James likes the forest but neither presses our Super Chill button.  From where we currently live, we have to drive an hour either way whether to sea or tree. However, I researched trail walks nearby and came across a State Forest not too far from our home at all. In my now-familiar rush to fulfil an expectation of enjoyment for James, I hurried us into what I was certain was the parking space for the