What Makes a Romantic Relationship Successful?

Communication? Sometimes Non-Communication?

On this particular date, James and I were grumpy with each other. We were away on holiday together in Bath, UK and started our day by parting ways for individual sightseeing. Neither of us felt like talking to the other and that is a huge sign of respecting each others' boundaries. If feelings are too heated, it often pays to walk away temporarily, before hurtful things are said and tempers flare beyond control.

By the time we met up again, later in the day, our feelings had diluted with retrospection and deep thought - so vital in understanding ourselves and others in an attempt to be respectful and not lose our temper.

The following is an excerpt from my travel journal:

Our melancholy overflowed into our tiny dorm room at the YMCA. We very seriously considered cancelling the rest of our trip, and we were only 3 months in! After a thoroughly heated discussion about the pros and cons of packing up and going home, we acknowledged that this was a trip of a lifetime. We would never get the same opportunity again. We simply had to find a way to make it work.

To re-connect.

We took on separate sightseeing for a day to give each other space, and paradoxically, this gave us that connection we were missing before. Stepping back, respecting boundaries, re-evaluating your situation offers reflection you can’t otherwise see in the heat of the moment. It’s difficult to recognise that you need to pull back, and can be perceived as ‘walking away’, but it is an intrinsic part of developing respect for each other.

We discovered Bath to be a close-knit community haven where we could lose ourselves incognito and ironically find ourselves at the same time, together. When the chill got to us after a day’s browsing, we thought a starlight spa might warm us up, in hopes of a truce. As we thawed in the rooftop Thermae Spa, twilight descended, bringing with it the tranquil ceiling of glittering diamonds way above our heads. Embraced as we were by the warm effervescent bubbles tingling our senses, we were not prepared for the freezing night-air when we got out of the spa.

“We need emergency hot chocolate right now,” I managed to stutter through chattering teeth.

“First the steam room,” James urged. “Quickly, let’s go.”

Gently, the steam room re-warmed the cockles of our hearts as our muscles softened to the touch of softly falling vapour on our skin. Finishing off with an invigorating pulse shower revitalised us to our former selves, our ‘real’ selves. Not forgetting our decadent hot chocolate, we sipped the smooth richness, huddled together, faces aglow from the charming fireplace. And so our evening ended, full of a warmth and softness we hadn’t felt in a long while.

Our clearer perspective of our wondrous opportunity saved us from ourselves and strengthened our connection tenfold.

What makes a romantic relationship successful for you? 

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