Creating Sparks That Last & All Things Relationships

And a Little Bit of Writing July’s edition has a few surprises. Let’s start with the icing on the cake! ALL my family joined me for my birthday weekend, which was tons of fun and a rare get together with everyone present. There was cake, of course, homemade Victoria sponge which was the second time I’d made that recipe, and store-bought chocolate mud cake, YUM. We played giant lawn games which I think the neighbours enjoyed as much as we did, given the shrieks of hilarity that accompanied our games; we built a wood fire for s’mores; gazed at our sparkling starry sky, and now my heart is filled with so much love. ☺ Next up, I unexpectedly started writing a new story I’m jumping up and down about. I couldn’t sleep one night last week and a story idea came to me so I started making notes. Soon enough it started flowing into a story and I kept going until 2am! Here’s the premise: Veda is a 30-something data analyst not looking for love. She receives a gift from a random stranger that chan...

Books, Food, Activities, Thoughts, Sightings, Conversations In other words, life. It is said that we 'are what we eat,' and it is also said that, 'our thoughts become things.' But have you heard, or felt , the notion that our bodies imbibe what we read, see and hear?  It's certainly true for me, and as announced last month, I will be talking about books that have had a profound effect on me, here on the blog for the foreseeable future.  Books really do embody the 'read, see, hear' criteria of our lives so we need to be mindful of what literature we consume. The three I want to mention today were heavy reads for me and deeply affecting. Perhaps it makes a difference too, if there is a connection, however indiscernible, between reader and author. Whilst I know none of the following authors personally, I do feel some sort of connection with each. At an author talk I attended, the interviewee spoke volumes to me about her knowledge of our local area. Unintention...

But how? Image: Elora Canne Self-awareness, for one. And effort for another. Neither romance nor love are going to land in your lap if you just sit back staring into space. Unless you’re gazing at the stars with the love of your life cuddled up next to you - but you have to make that happen, right? Let’s start with self-awareness: If you don’t know what you want, you can’t make it happen - go figure. Figure out what kind of relationship makes you happy, then set your intentions to plan for it.  For example: do you want more travel and adventure,  or romance and fine dining?  perhaps you’d prefer more quiet date-nights-in, or snuggled up for more movie nights? Whatever it is that you want more of, you have to,  a) know, and,  b) make it happen. So that’s your project for this month, to figure out what you want more of in your relationship. Perhaps you want a combination of all 3 of my suggestions above. Or, perhaps you can add ideas of your own. _________________...

The Year of The Couple 2023 Is going to be The Year of The Couple.  Well, in my world anyway. Every now and then I embark on an experiment that’ll inject some torque into the engine that drives our relationships. And this time, it’s a blueprint, or plan of action, which I’ve called Romance and Wrinkles. Romance and Wrinkles Sign Up Form Join in for once-a-month emails from me.  Each month I’ll introduce an experience to enhance your perception of your partner for the better. Each experience will be face-to-face so you can observe each other closely: facial expressions, eye contact, emotional response. Don’t worry if this sounds intense, they are all fun, lighthearted and above-board engaging opportunities. To the best of my ability, they will also be screen-free. 💟 If you’re on the fence and would like to no more, please comment below. And if you prefer, there is also an email link on the sign-up form for questions. Tap the link ➡️  Find the sign-up form here: My husban...

The Way to a Man’s Heart Image credit to Unsplash by Raissa Lara Lütolf Armed with a glass of velvety smooth Merlot and James with an ice cold beer we joined the hustle of talking, laughing guests standing around bar tables with our behinds perched on wire barstools. While it was fun to blend in with the loud and raucous customers around us, James and I longed for a space to sit comfortably where we could talk to each other instead of shouting at each other, albeit kindly. “Should we find somewhere else to have dinner?” James yelled at me. “Sure,” I screamed back into his ear. So much fun. Leaving the warmth of those cozy blankets behind, James and I headed for a restaurant with a water view on Darling Harbour. One of our favourites is Bungalow 8 and to our delight, they had revamped their eatery into private booth spaces.  Ours was particularly intimate with a sign that implored, “Please, no sledding.” Let me emphasize that the courtyard in question was no more than a two metre sq...

 Welcome and enjoy finding a whole new you. Image credit to Toa Heftiba at Unsplash It is so wonderful to have you in our reading room. We are delighted to share with you, our discovery of intricate connections that we made on our year-long dating project. Though we have been married for A Very Long Time, there is always something new to learn about each other and ourselves. This is the secret sauce to keeping your relationship alive - moving with the changing environment that we constantly find ourselves in as we progress along our daily lives.  Our daily lives become our years together. I do hope you enjoy reading about our fun and quirky dates. You'll find it  at this link.  I'd love to hear date ideas of your own, as well as your feedback once you've read 'Creating Sparks That Last'. 

What Is Love? 'Writer seeks 'wife' for a year on a tropical island.' The other day I asked for you, the reader, to define love in one word. I got some thoughtful answers which I'll list below. But before I do that, I want you to ask yourself what love means to you, firstly as an individual and secondly in a partnership. Years ago, when my marriage was still young, I read an autobiography by Lucy Irvine called Castaway (NOT the Tom Hanks movie). This was an intentional project to live on Tuin Island, an uninhabited island off the northernmost coast of Australia, for a year. It began with a male writer advertising for a female to live with him and test their mettle of survival on Tuin Island.   The catch, by Australian Officials standards, was that they had to be married in order to stay on the island. This did not please Lucy as G (as she calls him) expected more than just survival tactics from her. This caused deep introspection on both their parts, making for a del...

Communication? Sometimes Non-Communication? On this particular date, James and I were grumpy with each other. We were away on holiday together in Bath, UK and started our day by parting ways for individual sightseeing. Neither of us felt like talking to the other and that is a huge sign of respecting each others' boundaries. If feelings are too heated, it often pays to walk away temporarily, before hurtful things are said and tempers flare beyond control. By the time we met up again, later in the day, our feelings had diluted with retrospection and deep thought - so vital in understanding ourselves and others in an attempt to be respectful and not lose our temper. The following is an excerpt from my travel journal: Our melancholy overflowed into our tiny dorm room at the YMCA. We very seriously considered cancelling the rest of our trip, and we were only 3 months in! After a thoroughly heated discussion about the pros and cons of packing up and going home, we acknowledged that thi...

How do You Stay Married Until “Death do you part”? Note: Today's post is an extract from @mrshillaryvance via Instagram. She is a Therapist, Coach & Educator. With her permission, I have paraphrased some poignant thoughts about long-term relationship commitment: So many people don’t really weigh the gravity of the FOREVER part or consider what it really means (or actually looks like) to love someone forever. A lot less people would probably get married if they did! But in all seriousness, marriage is pretty awesome and it’s totally worth it with the right person (but potentially disastrous with the wrong person).  I think it’s time more people weigh the seriousness of forever and start talking about the glossed over realities of what most marriages look like day in and day out (it’s definitely not always G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S). All this to say, marriages will have their ups and downs...the good days and bad days, the “I think you’re hot” and “I think you’re not,” days, but what rea...

 What do your relationships look like? 💗 Romantic? 🎉 Exciting? 🌺 Spoilt? 👣 Grounded? Essentially we want our relationships to be all of the above and more. Evolving, growing, openly sharing our thoughts and dreams. If we are to make a long term commitment with the person we have chosen for life, we need to be able to evolve with the ever-changing environment of growth in our relationship; to be able to adapt and strengthen our bonds. ~ For an in-depth look into ways to grow with the changing landscape of love in your life, you can subscribe to receive a free ebook of my tried and tested strategies to improve my 35 year marriage remarkably.