Creating Sparks That Last & All Things Relationships

Or Not the One? https://unsplash.com/@jess33mx How can you know for sure that your partner is the one for you? The simple truth is, you can’t. As a young teenager, I threw a declaration out into the wind that I would marry a man with curly hair who loved water sports. When I met my then-boyfriend, now-husband, it was a lifetime later, different school, different friends and yet I met this young man who loved nothing better than to go water skiing with friends every weekend, and, yes, he had curly hair! Now, several decades later, we have our own little run-around boat and love nothing better than to go out on the lake or for a paddle in quiet waters. But those several decades were definitely not smooth sailing. https://unsplash.com/@matthewclarkrogers From the outside, it looks like he was my 'one.' But there were many occasions when I wondered, in fact we both wondered, if  we wanted this life together. You see, when I threw my declaration out into the Universe, I was young an...

 A Deeper Dive [I invite you to sit quietly, read and contemplate this resonant article by Guest Blogger Kate Jiggins] At this point in my life, I have two “jobs.” Job number one is a people helper. A listener. A psychotherapist. I have been sitting with people – witnessing their stories – for close to 20-years. Yikes! Sometimes it feels like I am just out of graduate school. Like a new puppy. Wide eyed. Enthusiastic. Image credit Canva My other “job”? I write. I tell stories about real life. Real people. Real struggles. Real triumph. Real inspiration. Stories that connect, support – hopefully inspire people to push themselves - explore what’s on the other side of that unhelpful conditioning. Limiting beliefs. Crappy stories. Those re-runs that keep us stuck.  Overtime, in my personal work, and my time with couples, I am beginning to see – more importantly understand - the power of story. Mine. Yours. Theirs. Others. It’s true, we all have unique stories. However, the big qu...

How to Change Conversation Blockers https://unsplash.com/@jonathanborba One thing is for sure: Marriage and relationships take a lot of work; a lot of honesty with ourselves and our partners. Michelle Obama speaks openly on her anniversary with Barack. [This will be the last of our 4-part mini series on effective communication in relationships.  Keep a look out for our new series next week!]  Honesty with ourselves: Let's begin there If our partner says things that make us feel uncomfortable, we have to first examine what it feels like inside of us in order to understand why we feel that way. For example, "Are you going to dinner dressed like that?" A seemingly innocent question right? WRONG. It's an accusatory question and it makes you feel defensive. Great! Now you can start to understand why it makes you feel that way. You might have any number of reasons - they'll be personal to you as we're all so very different. When you've discovered why you feel a ...