Creating Sparks That Last & All Things Relationships

(or Leave Her) I have an emotive book review for you today, so hold onto your hats, because this book is transformative! What follows is a guide for your journey through the transformational fires of love and intimacy, as written by Bryan Withrow Reeves . This book has big themes. I'm usually a multi-reader but this was a singular read for me, albeit in small doses so I could absorb all that was being discussed. Choose Her Every Day (or Leave Her)   My Five Star Review: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Reeves has a no-nonsense style of writing that appeals to my sense of recognition and acknowledgement, that we are all in similar relationship struggles, even the experts. He has an upfront approach to revealing all the nuances of what it's like being a male from an intimacy point of view - nothing crude, just direct. However, he is clear to differentiate between the masculine and feminine sides we each have. The author takes us through his failed relationships from youth to maturity. He outlines what went...

A MARITAL TUNE-UP I am delighted to share today's blogpost with you from a reader who shares her findings on ways to 'create sparks that last' in her marriage. https://unsplash.com/@claudialam Although Stuart and I share a lot in common, we have come to learn from each other as well. From Stuart, his thoughtful and considerate ways. From me, my humor, laughter, and how to lighten up. April 15 th , 2022 marked our 39 th  wedding anniversary. Just. That. Fast. Both recently retired—not together; we read not to do it together—we became hyper-aware of a new phase in our lives and marriage. It was as though we were left holding a simmering love, one becoming all too familiar (Storge) instead of our once robust, romantic and physical love. Our minds and bodies were struggling with this shift: How to keep ‘us’ alive as we aged when it seemed we were on a fast track to becoming roommates. Stuart and I decided to seek counseling in order to make an immediate change in the direction ...

Redefining Boundaries https://unsplash.com/@yirage Committing to a life-long marriage through difficult times takes a lot of courage. Each partner has to redefine for themselves the kind of life they want to lead within the walls of a partnership. Will you be willing to forgo some of your identity to take on the characteristics of a partner, who, just a few years ago was a complete stranger? How well do you know each other? In this life that you share, how deeply have you truly got to know each other? What you do on a daily basis in the humdrum of a nine to five lifestyle erodes the learnings and coping mechanisms adopted from your years of younger love. Invisible introspection can dim the light in your eyes if you let it. Old habits take over  if you forget to create  special moments together Learning to redefine the meaning of love means learning to redefine boundaries that no longer have any meaning. Boundaries that were significant at the beginning of your relationship as ...

 Body Language Speaks Volumes https://unsplash.com/@lawlesscapture "The first important point to realize is that only a small part of what you are communicating at any moment is coming from the actual words you are saying. There are three ways that we are constantly sending out messages to those around us:  body language, tone of voice and actual words." - Decoding Love by Andrew Trees I've done extensive research in the art of communicating, particularly with people who are emotionally vulnerable. To continue our communication thread, we'll look at a variety of ways we can be more receptive to our partners' needs and convey our message with more awareness and perhaps subtlety. In the book Decoding Love, Andrew Trees goes on to say, "In most casual conversations, what we say is the least important of the three aspects of communication."  Consider a conversation you're having with someone while they're checking their mobile phone. This is a tra...

 A Good Relationship Is Something You Make Image credit @carolinamarinelli on Unsplash Setting goals as a couple helps unify your focus. It connects your purpose for your relationship and ensures that you are both invested in its longevity. Working towards the longevity of your relationship can take effort, but setting goals together is one of the easiest ways to do it. Because you're both invested in the same outcome of that particular goal, it gives your relationship direction and purpose. As quoted from Revive Your Midlife Marriage - Midlife Marriage Strategist on Instagram: A good marriage isn't something you find. It's something you make, and you have to keep on making it every single day. She goes on to ask: 'Are you accepting things that could really be different if you put a little time, energy, and intention into it?' Marriage can feel overwhelming and make you feel like you don't have the energy to work on it, so we ignore what's happening and try ...