Creating Sparks That Last & All Things Relationships

Passionate and Surprising: December - Part 1 Welcome to book recommendations that'll both surprise you and touch your heart.  I put a call out towards the end of November for anyone who wanted to highlight relationship connections in their books. I got a few more responses than anticipated and simply could not turn them away. They all blew me away with their raw energy. Which is why I'll be featuring these books in two parts. Elora Canne TEIDA'S STORY: Life Through the Eyes of a Dog by Danielle Corrie Not only is this an endearing tale of human kindness towards each other, but also a deeply affecting tale of loyalty from a dog's perspective. Teida is a rescue dog who transforms the life of her new owner, Annie with a quiet knowing of mood and emotional needs. Teida also comforts close friends of Annie's with her gentle spirit of companionship and trust. Written through Teida's perspective, the author has observed her behaviours and mannerisms closely, with the a...

The Sound of Love If you've been reading my blog posts for a while, you'll know that I focus on later-in-life love quite a bit. I feel that this kind of relationship is a transition stage that very often gets overlooked, so when I come across books that include seasoned lovers, or midlife lovers, I snap up the opportunity to devour them.  This month, I have 3 relationship-altering stories for you that will make you see love from a fresh perspective of youth through to maturity across a range of environments from castles to ghetto kids to small-town every day kids. I'll start with the seasoned love in a castle story because it was on my tbr list the longest. I discovered the titles written by Jasmine Guillory when researching 'factual fiction' for my own writing projects. This one is called The Royal Holiday. Royal Holiday by Jasmine Guillory Vivian is a single midlifer who is coaxed into going on holiday to England with her daughter, while she works on the Christmas...

But how? Image: Elora Canne Self-awareness, for one. And effort for another. Neither romance nor love are going to land in your lap if you just sit back staring into space. Unless you’re gazing at the stars with the love of your life cuddled up next to you - but you have to make that happen, right? Let’s start with self-awareness: If you don’t know what you want, you can’t make it happen - go figure. Figure out what kind of relationship makes you happy, then set your intentions to plan for it.  For example: do you want more travel and adventure,  or romance and fine dining?  perhaps you’d prefer more quiet date-nights-in, or snuggled up for more movie nights? Whatever it is that you want more of, you have to,  a) know, and,  b) make it happen. So that’s your project for this month, to figure out what you want more of in your relationship. Perhaps you want a combination of all 3 of my suggestions above. Or, perhaps you can add ideas of your own. _________________...

And Healthy Relationship Tips If you’re wondering what the secret to lasting love is, there isn’t one. You have to take the long way round. And the good news is, I’ve got 3 tips that will get you there. How do I know? Because this year marks the 40th year my partner and I will have been together. Not married, that’ll be 37 years, but together - not yet mind you, that’ll be later on in the year. Our relationship comes with lots of experience, so healthy relationship tips are kind of my fortè. Here are my 3 tips for you: • Regular dates inject new interest into your relationship. They don’t have to be expensive outings, in fact they don’t even have to be outings, but they do have to be something out of the ordinary. • My second healthy relationship tip is to have the awkward conversation. Repeatedly, until the issue is fully resolved. This may take months, intermittently and you will continue to have issues needing discussion, just keep at it. Preferably on neutral ground during a walk o...

The Year of The Couple 2023 Is going to be The Year of The Couple.  Well, in my world anyway. Every now and then I embark on an experiment that’ll inject some torque into the engine that drives our relationships. And this time, it’s a blueprint, or plan of action, which I’ve called Romance and Wrinkles. Romance and Wrinkles Sign Up Form Join in for once-a-month emails from me.  Each month I’ll introduce an experience to enhance your perception of your partner for the better. Each experience will be face-to-face so you can observe each other closely: facial expressions, eye contact, emotional response. Don’t worry if this sounds intense, they are all fun, lighthearted and above-board engaging opportunities. To the best of my ability, they will also be screen-free. 💟 If you’re on the fence and would like to no more, please comment below. And if you prefer, there is also an email link on the sign-up form for questions. Tap the link ➡️  Find the sign-up form here: My husban...

In Conversation with Author Pat Backley Photo credit:  Pat Backley Pat’s memoir  From There To Here (With An Awful Lot In Between) is sprinkled with her positive outlook and quotes to live by. Here is one such quote that really stood out to me: Whatever life throws at you, never give up. Just learn to adapt and change. You’ll hear more of her passion and positivity shine through as you listen to our chat here: Relationships and Resilience   And if you have any questions for Pat, let’s hear them in the comments. She is a font of inspiration! You’ll find all of her books, both fiction and nonfiction on her website:  Pat Backley - Author Connect with Pat on the socials at the following links: Instagram   Facebook LinkedIn Twitter And I’ll leave you with one last quote from Pat that will inspire you to live the life you dream of: Life can be tough, but try to keep smiling through the tears. When you get knocked down, get up and carry on…You never know what’s around...

Your Personal Growth Does Not Threaten Your Relationship  You've changed.  You are not the same person who your husband or wife married years ago. They are not the same person, either.  You committed to your partner without knowing who they would become. Especially if you were young.  It's part of the marriage package.  People change over the years. You are not the same person at 40 that you were at 20. Thankfully. Because that 20-year-old hadn't experienced enough life to know what was what. At 20, our brains haven't even fully developed.  You committed to your partner knowing that both of you would change. At least, you knew it in your head. If you think too hard about it, these agreements seem scary.  We calm these fears by telling ourselves a myth: Couples in Close and Connected Relationships Grow Together. Their Marriage Lasts Because They Feel In-Sync and are on the Same Page.  This simply isn't true.  You are busy. You have ...

Unsure what that even means? I invite you to read on... This is what mindbodygreen.com interprets a conscious relationship to mean: A conscious relationship is a romantic relationship in which both partners feel committed to a sense of purpose, and that purpose is growth.  Individual growth. Shared growth as a couple.  Collective growth that makes the world a better place. You can read the rest of their article at the following link: The 4 Qualities of a Conscious Relationship I would add that a conscious relationship is not limited to a romantic connection, but also extends to family and friends as the two are intrinsically linked as I will illustrate below. https://unsplash.com/@_visalliart I've recently had the absolute pleasure of reading a number of books related to all topics of connection in our lives. Each one shows how irrefutably our network of relating to each other stems from our perception of connection. ≽ Quoted from Stronger Connections by Rosie Kendall: Peopl...

Healthier and Happier Together 3 Best Tips for a Healthy Relationship https://unsplash.com/@jeremybanks You wake up in the same bed every morning (or the spare bed if the snoring is unbearable, am I right?), eat the same cereal for breakfast every morning and drag yourself to work either home-office or workplace and wonder to yourself, "Is this It?" No, I can attest that ' this is not it '. This is how I know: If we want things to change, we have to BE the change Now this doesn't mean that all the relationship work is up to you, it simply means that if you are the one who wants things to be different, you have to be the one to do things differently.   - Shake routines up a little, maybe cook a tasty     breakfast to have together on a weekday               - Bring your partner a fruit and dip snack for morning tea if you both work from home               - Pack them a home baked (or store boug...

How Do They Shape Our Identity? https://unsplash.com/@sagefriedman I’ve been thinking long and hard about this question over the years. I mean, change is inevitable, but how much of that change is influenced by our partners? How much of our core self remains untouched? Do you know? Are you the same person you were 10 years ago? 20 Years ago? No, of course you aren’t, because growth changes our perspective of everything. https://unsplash.com/@anthonytori So how do you maintain the you whom you have crafted so hard to forge, while evolving with adaptations to reality? There are 6 questions below that will help you find the answer. Examining your morals and ethics goes a long way to observing the person within that you want to portray to the world. To help keep your identity intact within the framework of a relationship, I’ve created a fun, anonymous survey that’ll help you define your beliefs. No email required! caleb-george-VL9ugqp_mko-unsplash It’s a blend of thoughtful, deep questions...

Holiday Reads to Help with your Relationships https://unsplash.com/@thoughtcatalog As the holidays get near, it's difficult to keep daily routines running smoothly and this is a problem for people who don't like their days disrupted. It's particularly difficult when you have friends or family staying for long periods through the holiday season. I've listed some books below that will help us understand the complexities in a range of relationships, and help us to see the perspective of the other person, or people, as well.  The following books relate to aspects of our relationship with: Ourselves  Our parents  Partner  Children   Extended family, friends or even colleagues.  I have read them all and have gained different insights from each one. (I am in NO WAY affiliated). We'll start with our relationship with ourselves, because ultimately, that's where our interactions stem from, in every single relationship we encounter. Hector and the Search for Happ...

How to Live Life on Life's Terms [I invite you to sit back, relax and take in the extraordinary information that our  Guest Blogger, Human Behaviour and Social Change Expert, Kristy Riggal, has written.] Relationships have evolved a lot since the 50’s and 60’s. Divorce rates are skyrocketing, as is the epidemic of anxiety and depression. I have dedicated the better part of the last 7 years + of my life to understand the why, through field research and my education. Here is a morsel of what I know to be true and factual. https://unsplash.com/@tylernixcreative Did you know the first 10 years of your childhood development set you up for your adulthood and how you show up in your adult relationships? There are actually 5 peak waves that shape and mould you before the age of 18/19 years of age. The child brain doesn’t fully develop and is largely ‘unconscious’ until around the age of 8-10 and continues to develop into your 20’s. Those first 10 years are crucial, as a child relies solely...