Creating Sparks That Last & All Things Relationships

Passionate and Surprising: December - Part 1 Welcome to book recommendations that'll both surprise you and touch your heart.  I put a call out towards the end of November for anyone who wanted to highlight relationship connections in their books. I got a few more responses than anticipated and simply could not turn them away. They all blew me away with their raw energy. Which is why I'll be featuring these books in two parts. Elora Canne TEIDA'S STORY: Life Through the Eyes of a Dog by Danielle Corrie Not only is this an endearing tale of human kindness towards each other, but also a deeply affecting tale of loyalty from a dog's perspective. Teida is a rescue dog who transforms the life of her new owner, Annie with a quiet knowing of mood and emotional needs. Teida also comforts close friends of Annie's with her gentle spirit of companionship and trust. Written through Teida's perspective, the author has observed her behaviours and mannerisms closely, with the a...

And Healthy Relationship Tips If you’re wondering what the secret to lasting love is, there isn’t one. You have to take the long way round. And the good news is, I’ve got 3 tips that will get you there. How do I know? Because this year marks the 40th year my partner and I will have been together. Not married, that’ll be 37 years, but together - not yet mind you, that’ll be later on in the year. Our relationship comes with lots of experience, so healthy relationship tips are kind of my fortè. Here are my 3 tips for you: • Regular dates inject new interest into your relationship. They don’t have to be expensive outings, in fact they don’t even have to be outings, but they do have to be something out of the ordinary. • My second healthy relationship tip is to have the awkward conversation. Repeatedly, until the issue is fully resolved. This may take months, intermittently and you will continue to have issues needing discussion, just keep at it. Preferably on neutral ground during a walk o...

The Year of The Couple 2023 Is going to be The Year of The Couple.  Well, in my world anyway. Every now and then I embark on an experiment that’ll inject some torque into the engine that drives our relationships. And this time, it’s a blueprint, or plan of action, which I’ve called Romance and Wrinkles. Romance and Wrinkles Sign Up Form Join in for once-a-month emails from me.  Each month I’ll introduce an experience to enhance your perception of your partner for the better. Each experience will be face-to-face so you can observe each other closely: facial expressions, eye contact, emotional response. Don’t worry if this sounds intense, they are all fun, lighthearted and above-board engaging opportunities. To the best of my ability, they will also be screen-free. 💟 If you’re on the fence and would like to no more, please comment below. And if you prefer, there is also an email link on the sign-up form for questions. Tap the link ➡️  Find the sign-up form here: My husban...

In Conversation with Author Pat Backley Photo credit:  Pat Backley Pat’s memoir  From There To Here (With An Awful Lot In Between) is sprinkled with her positive outlook and quotes to live by. Here is one such quote that really stood out to me: Whatever life throws at you, never give up. Just learn to adapt and change. You’ll hear more of her passion and positivity shine through as you listen to our chat here: Relationships and Resilience   And if you have any questions for Pat, let’s hear them in the comments. She is a font of inspiration! You’ll find all of her books, both fiction and nonfiction on her website:  Pat Backley - Author Connect with Pat on the socials at the following links: Instagram   Facebook LinkedIn Twitter And I’ll leave you with one last quote from Pat that will inspire you to live the life you dream of: Life can be tough, but try to keep smiling through the tears. When you get knocked down, get up and carry on…You never know what’s around...

Unsure what that even means? I invite you to read on... This is what mindbodygreen.com interprets a conscious relationship to mean: A conscious relationship is a romantic relationship in which both partners feel committed to a sense of purpose, and that purpose is growth.  Individual growth. Shared growth as a couple.  Collective growth that makes the world a better place. You can read the rest of their article at the following link: The 4 Qualities of a Conscious Relationship I would add that a conscious relationship is not limited to a romantic connection, but also extends to family and friends as the two are intrinsically linked as I will illustrate below. https://unsplash.com/@_visalliart I've recently had the absolute pleasure of reading a number of books related to all topics of connection in our lives. Each one shows how irrefutably our network of relating to each other stems from our perception of connection. ≽ Quoted from Stronger Connections by Rosie Kendall: Peopl...

 Let's Dig In https://unsplash.com/@eliomendes My cat is a very typical one and does things that are typically, well, cat-like. Her most annoying cat-like characteristic is to wake up at 4am, most days, on other days it's more like 2am! This particular morning I considered myself lucky, I got an extra 20 minutes of sleep in, as the meowy alarm only went off at 4.20am! Success, kind of.  Wednesday's are walking group days for me, but on the Wednesday in question, I was without a car at home for various reasons of family travel or work or whatever. Since I'd had  hours of pre-dawn reading time (which is my very favourite thing to do, so kitty is all forgiven anyway), I got particularly comfortable in bed with my book, my steaming mug of coffee and no-one in the house to disturb me. Bliss! Even kitty had gone back to sleep since her tummy was now full. By 6.30am I remembered my resolve to go to my walking group regardless of not having a car. It's only 2.5km away to th...

How Do They Shape Our Identity? https://unsplash.com/@sagefriedman I’ve been thinking long and hard about this question over the years. I mean, change is inevitable, but how much of that change is influenced by our partners? How much of our core self remains untouched? Do you know? Are you the same person you were 10 years ago? 20 Years ago? No, of course you aren’t, because growth changes our perspective of everything. https://unsplash.com/@anthonytori So how do you maintain the you whom you have crafted so hard to forge, while evolving with adaptations to reality? There are 6 questions below that will help you find the answer. Examining your morals and ethics goes a long way to observing the person within that you want to portray to the world. To help keep your identity intact within the framework of a relationship, I’ve created a fun, anonymous survey that’ll help you define your beliefs. No email required! caleb-george-VL9ugqp_mko-unsplash It’s a blend of thoughtful, deep questions...

Holiday Reads to Help with your Relationships https://unsplash.com/@thoughtcatalog As the holidays get near, it's difficult to keep daily routines running smoothly and this is a problem for people who don't like their days disrupted. It's particularly difficult when you have friends or family staying for long periods through the holiday season. I've listed some books below that will help us understand the complexities in a range of relationships, and help us to see the perspective of the other person, or people, as well.  The following books relate to aspects of our relationship with: Ourselves  Our parents  Partner  Children   Extended family, friends or even colleagues.  I have read them all and have gained different insights from each one. (I am in NO WAY affiliated). We'll start with our relationship with ourselves, because ultimately, that's where our interactions stem from, in every single relationship we encounter. Hector and the Search for Happ...

How to Live Life on Life's Terms [I invite you to sit back, relax and take in the extraordinary information that our  Guest Blogger, Human Behaviour and Social Change Expert, Kristy Riggal, has written.] Relationships have evolved a lot since the 50’s and 60’s. Divorce rates are skyrocketing, as is the epidemic of anxiety and depression. I have dedicated the better part of the last 7 years + of my life to understand the why, through field research and my education. Here is a morsel of what I know to be true and factual. https://unsplash.com/@tylernixcreative Did you know the first 10 years of your childhood development set you up for your adulthood and how you show up in your adult relationships? There are actually 5 peak waves that shape and mould you before the age of 18/19 years of age. The child brain doesn’t fully develop and is largely ‘unconscious’ until around the age of 8-10 and continues to develop into your 20’s. Those first 10 years are crucial, as a child relies solely...

Grow Into Love As I see it, a relationship should evolve with experience and maturity just as our preferences in foods and beverages do. Elora Canne: En Route memoir To explain the quote above, we'll start with loving ice cream and later, with a more health conscious awareness, we turn to frozen yoghurt as a delicious alternative.  As age creeps up and with it a broader perspective, green smoothies become the next best thing to improve our health and meet our flavour needs.  Then time wears on and we try an even healthier option – say kombucha – as our bodies begin the journey into our wisdom years. Let's Thrive on our Relationship Journey By and by we realize there really is no magic elixir to prevent life and relationship mishaps, but most importantly of all, the realization hits that all of these beverages we’ve enjoyed along our relationship journey have one thing in common – they have been primarily mixed with water. Bland, tasteless, colorless water. And that is exactly ...

I Have Good News for You So far, you have followed mine and James' progress into blissful mid-life marriage. You've read of our ups and downs through our relationship success, and now I'm overjoyed to share that I've created an ebook for you from our Date Year experiences! https://unsplash.com/@valentinantonucci It's the sequel to my memoir, out later this year, but gives the backstory to our tumultuous young beginnings and into keeping the spark alive through three and a half decades together. It has the same title as the blog, Creating Sparks that Last by Elora Canne. It's available for preorder today, at the link below. I want in!   Here's a Cheeky Joke to Make You Smile It's an old joke that people tell: Women need a  reason  to have sex, men just need a  place . - From Tonja Vallin in her article The Surprising Benefits of Holding Hands - Including Better Sex Here's the full article if you're interested   It's an informative look at the ...

What aspect of relationships would you like to discuss in our new series? Image credit Priscilla du Preez via Unsplash Hi blogger fam, I'm dropping into your inbox on a Monday instead of Friday today - SURPRISE! New Blog Series I'm starting a fresh conversation here on the blog and I'd appreciate your input. But more on that in a minute. The reason for today's post is to let you know that I'll be sending out an email to all my blog fam later in the week. The topic is the same, but I needed to give you a heads-up. The reason for the heads-up is because I'll be sending the email via Mailerlite through my gmail address. If you don't already have me in your inbox, it might mark it as suspicious. It even marked it as suspicious for me when I sent myself a tester email haha. Image credit Harli Marten via Unsplash Navigating relationships can be tricky Tell me I'm not the only one who feels like this, right? And so, I'm excited to launch a brand new series ...

FIND YOUR UNIQUE SPARK Choose ways to ignite your relationship that make both of you happy Image credit @casey-horner via Unsplash ♥ Notice how I said ‘unique’?   There is no one size fits all to a relationship so don’t compare your relationship to anyone else’s.  Each one is a unique fit. I largely chose our dates myself for Date Year but I made sure to integrate James’ preferences as well. This is how our experiences became unique to us. I use words like ‘both’, ‘our’ and ‘us’ because marriage is exclusively about the two of you. Three’s a crowd, no doubt about it. We’re not talking about socializing, we’re talking about connecting. Your marriage needs to grow the two of you together so choose your date experiences wisely. ♥ Be consistent. Don’t let the inconvenience of everyday life get in the way of making a commitment to the happiness of your marriage.                     ...