Creating Sparks That Last & All Things Relationships

Redefining Boundaries https://unsplash.com/@yirage Committing to a life-long marriage through difficult times takes a lot of courage. Each partner has to redefine for themselves the kind of life they want to lead within the walls of a partnership. Will you be willing to forgo some of your identity to take on the characteristics of a partner, who, just a few years ago was a complete stranger? How well do you know each other? In this life that you share, how deeply have you truly got to know each other? What you do on a daily basis in the humdrum of a nine to five lifestyle erodes the learnings and coping mechanisms adopted from your years of younger love. Invisible introspection can dim the light in your eyes if you let it. Old habits take over  if you forget to create  special moments together Learning to redefine the meaning of love means learning to redefine boundaries that no longer have any meaning. Boundaries that were significant at the beginning of your relationship as a couple

 Body Language Speaks Volumes https://unsplash.com/@lawlesscapture "The first important point to realize is that only a small part of what you are communicating at any moment is coming from the actual words you are saying. There are three ways that we are constantly sending out messages to those around us:  body language, tone of voice and actual words." - Decoding Love by Andrew Trees I've done extensive research in the art of communicating, particularly with people who are emotionally vulnerable. To continue our communication thread, we'll look at a variety of ways we can be more receptive to our partners' needs and convey our message with more awareness and perhaps subtlety. In the book Decoding Love, Andrew Trees goes on to say, "In most casual conversations, what we say is the least important of the three aspects of communication."  Consider a conversation you're having with someone while they're checking their mobile phone. This is a tra

 A Good Relationship Is Something You Make Image credit @carolinamarinelli on Unsplash Setting goals as a couple helps unify your focus. It connects your purpose for your relationship and ensures that you are both invested in its longevity. Working towards the longevity of your relationship can take effort, but setting goals together is one of the easiest ways to do it. Because you're both invested in the same outcome of that particular goal, it gives your relationship direction and purpose. As quoted from Revive Your Midlife Marriage - Midlife Marriage Strategist on Instagram: A good marriage isn't something you find. It's something you make, and you have to keep on making it every single day. She goes on to ask: 'Are you accepting things that could really be different if you put a little time, energy, and intention into it?' Marriage can feel overwhelming and make you feel like you don't have the energy to work on it, so we ignore what's happening and try

Dormant Feelings Can Be Re-Ignited You can also find new ways to feel by learning more about each other. To recap on last weeks’ post about honest and open vulnerability and making a commitment to the happiness of your relationship, I’ve got a few pointers below to steer the process in the right direction.  To learn a little more about your mate it’ll help to understand some of these ideas: Unique         🔸 What are your interests, individually and as a couple? Connect     🔸Physically and emotionally with eye contact Consistent     🔸 Commit ahead of time to a time frame that suits both your calendars for date events Vulnerability   🔸 Be prepared to talk of sensitive issues without fear of betrayal Laughter     🔸It really is the best medicine ; choose outings that tickle your funny bone I am not a marriage counsellor, I’m not even a relationship guide; what I am, is a wife. I have been a wife to the same man for 33 years. I won’t say always happily because that would b

Goals to Make Your Relationship Zing! Image credit @unsplash by @jonathansborba When James and I completed our Date Year Experiment, we came away with solid ideas of what we wanted our relationship to look like. We set goals to ensure that we got the very best outcome. I'll outline some of them here, along with additional ideas from practicalintimacy.com https://pin.it/1N7Qi1l 🔥 Know your boundaries and limitations:          ❣   As well as knowing your own boundaries and letting your partner figure out theirs, you also   need to know your limitations: own your faults, your shortcomings and areas of   required improvement. Don't try to dictate your partners' limitations to them, this is about you taking ownership of your own stuff. 🔥 Validate your own feelings and emotions:         ❣   Maintaining the status quo to keep the peace is not an option. Name your feelings, name your emotions without having to defend them. They just are  because that is what you're experienci