Creating Sparks That Last & All Things Relationships

And Personal Reflection Instagram: @meganruthphotography_ downloaded via Unsplash Earlier this week, I witnessed the first turning of yellow leaves heralding the start of autumn. Wait!! I wailed, I'm not ready. This made me take stock: Why was I not ready? I've known all my life that summer segues into autumn. So why am I not ready? @primipil via Unsplash Personal reflection leads to change It's the same for our seasons in life. Personal reflection changes with each stage of life. Relationship boundaries shapeshift according to our status, commitment and amount of time together, i.e. child-raising years compared to empty-nester years, or career peaks versus slowing down your workload. That brings me to today's discussion. Personal reflection corresponds directly to our evolving boundaries. And if the people in our lives are not (or cannot be) in sync with our changing parameters, then we need to speak our mind so they can either level up or respect our growth. When we w...

How Do You Portray Yourself to the World? Your body is your home. Have you ever wondered what compels you to return home at the end of each day? What draws you into that space? What magnetism attracts you to the energy there? Whilst I can’t answer on your behalf, here’s what I know from someone who has lived in 2 countries, semi-permanently lived in a third and travelled for a year without a place to call home yet feeling ‘at home’ in each accommodation. Self-awareness in your space: You are with yourself constantly. How do you perceive yourself? Does that align with how the world sees you? How you wish the world to see you? I’ve noticed that the things that bring me peace are the very things that define me. They denote that eternal question of ‘Who am I?’ Not in a career or relationship perspective, just me, in my own space and not what the world sees from the outside. So what are these things that bring me peace, and how do they relate to who I am and how I portray myself to the wor...

Because It's All About You https://unsplash.com/@adaliabotha Thank you for your patience while my book launch was happening. Now it’s time to celebrate YOU! I want to know what you've been up to. I've been so embroiled in the details of launching that I lost sight of the world around me. So much so that I took a little digi-detox time for reflection. Now I want to know a little more about you. You know enough about me and my life. What accomplishment are you most proud of?  What goal have you set out to achieve this month?  What characteristic do you LOVE about yourself? If you're not comfortable with that, then ask someone else to describe a characteristic they love about you; or reflect on your general characteristics in a journal or note-taking app. https://unsplash.com/@itsmiki5 If you need a little help settling on a characteristic you love about yourself, I've included this article to help you:  Characteristics list What I discovered on my mini digi-detox is t...

Nobody Perceives You the Way You Perceive Yourself Frida Kahlo Cover image from the book; Frida Kahlo's Garden I am the person I know best.   Quote from Frida Kahlo regarding her self portraits. I have been fascinated by Frida Kahlo's expression of self for many years. Her use of light and shadow in her creativity depicts, closely, her awareness of shadow and brightness in herself. Light and shadow that each of us have. The quote above is preceded by deeper reflection: I paint self-portraits because I am so often alone, because I am the person I know best. For me, alone time has always been paramount to me thriving in a noisy, busy world. Alone but not lonely, which I think is what tormented Frida somewhat. That opinion is my own based on the fact that she divorced her husband, Diego Rivera and ended her longtime affair with photographer Nickolas Muray in the same year. Anyway, this is not a study on Frida Kahlo, merely a reflection of how well she knew herself and how that led...

Are You Your Own Stumbling Block to Happiness? Hello Blog Family! It's been a hot minute since you last heard from me.  Thank you for your patience while I made a huge move, relocating house, home, hearth and heart. As you can tell, this move was a big deal for me, moving far away from my family. This may seem counterintuitive to my happiness but the joy I have already found after just two weeks in my new home far outshines any shadow of sadness that might have been lingering.  https://unsplash.com/@taiscaptures 5 Things Making Me Happy This Week For that reason, I wanted to share with you the pleasures I have gained from setting up home in a far away place: Finding new interests that excite ME: First off, the emphasis is on 'me' because without my own pleasures in life, I have very little joy to impart to others, whether intentionally or by exuding my vibe. It's not necessarily big events or material possessions for me, it's the miniscule shift in awareness . When ...

If Not Ourselves, Then Who?  [ I invite you to take in the information below and apply it to your daily self-care routine as set out by our Guest Blogger Jessica Ruiz] Javier Allegue Barros via Unsplash If we don’t take good care of ourselves, who will? Self-care is very important.  We are sometimes so busy taking care of others that we forget to take care of ourselves.   There are different types of self-care:   Exercising is one and it helps you to relieve            stress.  Exercising can be fun.  Some people like            dancing.                I love to dance and I love music.               Dancing is a fun way to exercise. Don’t get me              wrong, I know that things happen, and it              is hard to exercise, but ...

Self Care Ideas https://unsplash.com/@taiamint [The last in our Self-Love mini-series] “You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.”   Diane Von Furstenberg Last week our post was a little on the long side. I really didn’t want to leave anything out because I felt it was all so important for our wellbeing. This week though, we have a 1 minute self-care video to watch. Enjoy the soothing music and simple self-care suggestions. Show yourself a little love    If you’d like to read last week’s post in snatches, here’s the link: The Art of Restorative Self-Love https://unsplash.com/@avasol How do you know when you're starting to need a little extra self-care?  For example, I get very sweary and I don't normally speak like that, so I know that it's time to pay attention to my stressors and find healthy ways to eliminate them. Do you have a self-care routine or ritual?

How to Heal Your Own Heart and Still Be Kind to Others Welcome to the second instalment in our new mini-series Our Relationship with Ourselves                                                                     https://unsplash.com/@bartlarueeppler Spiritually, the four chambers of the heart represent: ♥  Compassion:  Kindness, c oncern, consi deration, c are      ♥   Love: F ondness, rev erence, r espect, v alue ♥   Understanding:   Thoughtful, a ltruistic, a ccepting, p atient ♥   Emotion:   Feeling, s entiment, p assion, s ensation https://unsplash.com/@snowidesignz                               ...

Self Worth is Such an Underestimated Superpower “I think it's important to have a great relationship with ourselves before we can expect a better relationship with our partner." Jude -  Quantum Healing Connection Welcome to our new mini-series: Our Relationship with Ourselves Photo by Drew Colins on Unsplash "I determine my self-worth from now on!" This was me after a particularly tough disagreement with my husband of 35+ years. Disagreements happen. They're a fact of life, but when our self-worth is undermined we have to stand up for ourselves. That was a pivotal moment in our relationship. It truly gave me a Superpower I had never owned before. It helped me understand that I do not need to be small to fit someone else's ego; I do not need to keep quiet when I disagree - I found my self-worth Superpower that day and it helped both of us forge a healthier environment for our relationship. Ali and Cameron Daddo speak of this concept in their 'Separate Bat...

Sometimes sombre, sometimes humorous, always enlightening Something wonderful is happening so I wanted to share the excitement with you. In 7 months I will be a published author! I have written my memoir which is an expansion of ‘Creating Sparks that Last,’ which you might already have read. If you haven’t, it’s available at the link in the top post; it will give you the backstory to my memoir. If you’re unable to access the link I’ll gladly email the ebook/pdf document to you. Anyway, back to my memoir, ‘En Route: The best is yet to be.’ In the unraveling of my inherent people-pleasing practices I uncover a hidden dragon within. This self-empowerment helps me give voice to my opinions; to speak up in trying times and to face adversity head on. From all this self-discovery I learn new ways of engaging in all my relationship dynamics. From siblings, to offspring, in-laws, parents and partner, I find my identity and mightily so! If you’d like the same empowerment for your life, register ...

 “ We meet ourselves in a thousand disguises on the path of life .” Carl Jung This is the end screen of a video that I tried valiantly to upload. It’s an introduction to my first date with my husband to give you a little backstory about how we met. If you’d like to listen, it will be uploaded on my Instagram and Facebook accounts. Both are named Elora Canne.  Facebook Instagram I was 18 when I got a call from this husky voiced man who I was immediately drawn to. Mutual friends had introduced us as I was too shy to ask anyone to my Year 12 Formal. I thought this 22 year old man epitomized the height of maturity for calling me ahead of the Year 12 Formal for a pre-date instead. This was to ensure we’d hit it off and not ruin the Formal. How considerate! How mature! On our pre-date there were 6 of us out for dinner and we had a merry time with a few glasses of wine (it’s legal at 18 in South Africa). My date offered me another glass of wine and in my prim and proper 18 year old v...