Creating Sparks That Last & All Things Relationships

Passionate and Surprising: December - Part 1 Welcome to book recommendations that'll both surprise you and touch your heart.  I put a call out towards the end of November for anyone who wanted to highlight relationship connections in their books. I got a few more responses than anticipated and simply could not turn them away. They all blew me away with their raw energy. Which is why I'll be featuring these books in two parts. Elora Canne TEIDA'S STORY: Life Through the Eyes of a Dog by Danielle Corrie Not only is this an endearing tale of human kindness towards each other, but also a deeply affecting tale of loyalty from a dog's perspective. Teida is a rescue dog who transforms the life of her new owner, Annie with a quiet knowing of mood and emotional needs. Teida also comforts close friends of Annie's with her gentle spirit of companionship and trust. Written through Teida's perspective, the author has observed her behaviours and mannerisms closely, with the a...

Books, Food, Activities, Thoughts, Sightings, Conversations In other words, life. It is said that we 'are what we eat,' and it is also said that, 'our thoughts become things.' But have you heard, or felt , the notion that our bodies imbibe what we read, see and hear?  It's certainly true for me, and as announced last month, I will be talking about books that have had a profound effect on me, here on the blog for the foreseeable future.  Books really do embody the 'read, see, hear' criteria of our lives so we need to be mindful of what literature we consume. The three I want to mention today were heavy reads for me and deeply affecting. Perhaps it makes a difference too, if there is a connection, however indiscernible, between reader and author. Whilst I know none of the following authors personally, I do feel some sort of connection with each. At an author talk I attended, the interviewee spoke volumes to me about her knowledge of our local area. Unintention...

But how? Image: Elora Canne Self-awareness, for one. And effort for another. Neither romance nor love are going to land in your lap if you just sit back staring into space. Unless you’re gazing at the stars with the love of your life cuddled up next to you - but you have to make that happen, right? Let’s start with self-awareness: If you don’t know what you want, you can’t make it happen - go figure. Figure out what kind of relationship makes you happy, then set your intentions to plan for it.  For example: do you want more travel and adventure,  or romance and fine dining?  perhaps you’d prefer more quiet date-nights-in, or snuggled up for more movie nights? Whatever it is that you want more of, you have to,  a) know, and,  b) make it happen. So that’s your project for this month, to figure out what you want more of in your relationship. Perhaps you want a combination of all 3 of my suggestions above. Or, perhaps you can add ideas of your own. _________________...

In Conversation with Author Pat Backley Photo credit:  Pat Backley Pat’s memoir  From There To Here (With An Awful Lot In Between) is sprinkled with her positive outlook and quotes to live by. Here is one such quote that really stood out to me: Whatever life throws at you, never give up. Just learn to adapt and change. You’ll hear more of her passion and positivity shine through as you listen to our chat here: Relationships and Resilience   And if you have any questions for Pat, let’s hear them in the comments. She is a font of inspiration! You’ll find all of her books, both fiction and nonfiction on her website:  Pat Backley - Author Connect with Pat on the socials at the following links: Instagram   Facebook LinkedIn Twitter And I’ll leave you with one last quote from Pat that will inspire you to live the life you dream of: Life can be tough, but try to keep smiling through the tears. When you get knocked down, get up and carry on…You never know what’s around...

Your Personal Growth Does Not Threaten Your Relationship  You've changed.  You are not the same person who your husband or wife married years ago. They are not the same person, either.  You committed to your partner without knowing who they would become. Especially if you were young.  It's part of the marriage package.  People change over the years. You are not the same person at 40 that you were at 20. Thankfully. Because that 20-year-old hadn't experienced enough life to know what was what. At 20, our brains haven't even fully developed.  You committed to your partner knowing that both of you would change. At least, you knew it in your head. If you think too hard about it, these agreements seem scary.  We calm these fears by telling ourselves a myth: Couples in Close and Connected Relationships Grow Together. Their Marriage Lasts Because They Feel In-Sync and are on the Same Page.  This simply isn't true.  You are busy. You have ...

Unsure what that even means? I invite you to read on... This is what mindbodygreen.com interprets a conscious relationship to mean: A conscious relationship is a romantic relationship in which both partners feel committed to a sense of purpose, and that purpose is growth.  Individual growth. Shared growth as a couple.  Collective growth that makes the world a better place. You can read the rest of their article at the following link: The 4 Qualities of a Conscious Relationship I would add that a conscious relationship is not limited to a romantic connection, but also extends to family and friends as the two are intrinsically linked as I will illustrate below. https://unsplash.com/@_visalliart I've recently had the absolute pleasure of reading a number of books related to all topics of connection in our lives. Each one shows how irrefutably our network of relating to each other stems from our perception of connection. ≽ Quoted from Stronger Connections by Rosie Kendall: Peopl...

How Do They Shape Our Identity? https://unsplash.com/@sagefriedman I’ve been thinking long and hard about this question over the years. I mean, change is inevitable, but how much of that change is influenced by our partners? How much of our core self remains untouched? Do you know? Are you the same person you were 10 years ago? 20 Years ago? No, of course you aren’t, because growth changes our perspective of everything. https://unsplash.com/@anthonytori So how do you maintain the you whom you have crafted so hard to forge, while evolving with adaptations to reality? There are 6 questions below that will help you find the answer. Examining your morals and ethics goes a long way to observing the person within that you want to portray to the world. To help keep your identity intact within the framework of a relationship, I’ve created a fun, anonymous survey that’ll help you define your beliefs. No email required! caleb-george-VL9ugqp_mko-unsplash It’s a blend of thoughtful, deep questions...

Holiday Reads to Help with your Relationships https://unsplash.com/@thoughtcatalog As the holidays get near, it's difficult to keep daily routines running smoothly and this is a problem for people who don't like their days disrupted. It's particularly difficult when you have friends or family staying for long periods through the holiday season. I've listed some books below that will help us understand the complexities in a range of relationships, and help us to see the perspective of the other person, or people, as well.  The following books relate to aspects of our relationship with: Ourselves  Our parents  Partner  Children   Extended family, friends or even colleagues.  I have read them all and have gained different insights from each one. (I am in NO WAY affiliated). We'll start with our relationship with ourselves, because ultimately, that's where our interactions stem from, in every single relationship we encounter. Hector and the Search for Happ...

How to Live Life on Life's Terms [I invite you to sit back, relax and take in the extraordinary information that our  Guest Blogger, Human Behaviour and Social Change Expert, Kristy Riggal, has written.] Relationships have evolved a lot since the 50’s and 60’s. Divorce rates are skyrocketing, as is the epidemic of anxiety and depression. I have dedicated the better part of the last 7 years + of my life to understand the why, through field research and my education. Here is a morsel of what I know to be true and factual. https://unsplash.com/@tylernixcreative Did you know the first 10 years of your childhood development set you up for your adulthood and how you show up in your adult relationships? There are actually 5 peak waves that shape and mould you before the age of 18/19 years of age. The child brain doesn’t fully develop and is largely ‘unconscious’ until around the age of 8-10 and continues to develop into your 20’s. Those first 10 years are crucial, as a child relies solely...

Grow Into Love As I see it, a relationship should evolve with experience and maturity just as our preferences in foods and beverages do. Elora Canne: En Route memoir To explain the quote above, we'll start with loving ice cream and later, with a more health conscious awareness, we turn to frozen yoghurt as a delicious alternative.  As age creeps up and with it a broader perspective, green smoothies become the next best thing to improve our health and meet our flavour needs.  Then time wears on and we try an even healthier option – say kombucha – as our bodies begin the journey into our wisdom years. Let's Thrive on our Relationship Journey By and by we realize there really is no magic elixir to prevent life and relationship mishaps, but most importantly of all, the realization hits that all of these beverages we’ve enjoyed along our relationship journey have one thing in common – they have been primarily mixed with water. Bland, tasteless, colorless water. And that is exactly ...

I Have Good News for You So far, you have followed mine and James' progress into blissful mid-life marriage. You've read of our ups and downs through our relationship success, and now I'm overjoyed to share that I've created an ebook for you from our Date Year experiences! https://unsplash.com/@valentinantonucci It's the sequel to my memoir, out later this year, but gives the backstory to our tumultuous young beginnings and into keeping the spark alive through three and a half decades together. It has the same title as the blog, Creating Sparks that Last by Elora Canne. It's available for preorder today, at the link below. I want in!   Here's a Cheeky Joke to Make You Smile It's an old joke that people tell: Women need a  reason  to have sex, men just need a  place . - From Tonja Vallin in her article The Surprising Benefits of Holding Hands - Including Better Sex Here's the full article if you're interested   It's an informative look at the ...

What aspect of relationships would you like to discuss in our new series? Image credit Priscilla du Preez via Unsplash Hi blogger fam, I'm dropping into your inbox on a Monday instead of Friday today - SURPRISE! New Blog Series I'm starting a fresh conversation here on the blog and I'd appreciate your input. But more on that in a minute. The reason for today's post is to let you know that I'll be sending out an email to all my blog fam later in the week. The topic is the same, but I needed to give you a heads-up. The reason for the heads-up is because I'll be sending the email via Mailerlite through my gmail address. If you don't already have me in your inbox, it might mark it as suspicious. It even marked it as suspicious for me when I sent myself a tester email haha. Image credit Harli Marten via Unsplash Navigating relationships can be tricky Tell me I'm not the only one who feels like this, right? And so, I'm excited to launch a brand new series ...

Goals to Make Your Relationship Zing! Image credit @unsplash by @jonathansborba When James and I completed our Date Year Experiment, we came away with solid ideas of what we wanted our relationship to look like. We set goals to ensure that we got the very best outcome. I'll outline some of them here, along with additional ideas from practicalintimacy.com https://pin.it/1N7Qi1l 🔥 Know your boundaries and limitations:          ❣   As well as knowing your own boundaries and letting your partner figure out theirs, you also   need to know your limitations: own your faults, your shortcomings and areas of   required improvement. Don't try to dictate your partners' limitations to them, this is about you taking ownership of your own stuff. 🔥 Validate your own feelings and emotions:         ❣   Maintaining the status quo to keep the peace is not an option. Name your feelings, name your emotions without having t...