Creating Sparks That Last & All Things Relationships

Date Night Arguments and How to Prevent Them It’s Date Night. Finally! The stars have aligned with your schedules, the sitter, the kids’ activities.  You can finally spend some quality time with your spouse away from the house. https://unsplash.com/@claybanks It’s been ages since you spent any "alone time" together.  You've missed your partner.  In fact, you have longed for uninterrupted time when you can connect and feel close.  Time when there is time and space to feel like you did at the beginning of the relationship. Time together is what inspired the other parts of your joint life.  You know that you need relaxed and enjoyable time together or you will lose the spark.  You already feel too much like ships passing in the night.  You need to break free from feeling like roommates. You’ve been imagining the date all week.  You’ve pictured having fun, connecting, and being affectionate.  You are looking forward to being able to relax and foc...

🎁 Happy Relationships and a Merry Christmas Image credit @KatieAzi My gift to you this holiday season, is one of happier times with your loved ones. I have a giveaway for you; a booklet of Date Year Ideas for you to use at your leisure. Completely free, no strings attached, a giveaway of pure loving intention. The date ideas are fun and relaxed and can be used in any relationship you wish to deepen. Healthy relationships cover all aspects of our lives, so you can quite easily adapt my date ideas to your friendships, family relationships or partnerships.  Your style, your way.   I have included a page for each month of the year with some ideas for you to think about. But, this is YOUR date year, YOUR way. You can change them up, add your own or include anything that gets you closer to understanding the person you are with in that moment. Your free booklet is at the link below: Date Year Ideas Image credit @OlesiaHnatkevych Have fun and do share your own date ideas with me in t...

Redefining Love and Marriage https://unsplash.com/@jennymarvin Committing to a life-long marriage through difficult times takes a lot of courage. I had to define for myself the kind of life I wanted. Was I willing to forgo some of my identity to take on the characteristics of a partner who, just 30 years ago, was a complete stranger to me? Had I really got to know him at all? In this life that we share, how deeply had we truly got to know each other? Not so deeply at all, I was to learn. In spite of the many epiphanies through our year-long travel escapade, what we did on a daily basis in the humdrum of a nine to five lifestyle eroded the  lessons learnt and the coping mechanisms we had adopted. Outwardly we have a wonderfully marvelous life, yet our invisible introspection, unseen by those around us, slowly dims the light in both of our eyes. Old habits took over as we forgot to create special moments together. Our lives became mechanical. Learning to redefine the meaning of l...

Sparks That Last Forever https://unsplash.com/@whynottogoforit It seems improbable that a relationship can maintain it's passion through decades of wear and tear from life's ups and downs. But I'm here to tell you that it is possible. Not easy. But possible. It's not the same passion as newly falling in love, as we've discussed before, but I can testify that it is even better than that dizzy feeling of heading into a relationship with uncertainty for the future. Because by now, I'm in the future of my relationship.  Three and a half decades later of being with the same partner has brought some sobering perspectives to our outlook. The comfort of knowing each other relatively well; knowing that your are loved; knowing how to love in return - these are the joys of longevity in a relationship. Further reading suggestion It Just Keeps Getting Better It’s important to remember that nothing stays the same. Not even when you've been together seemingly forever.  We...

 Best of Both Worlds https://unsplash.com/@courtniebt13 Our date on this occasion required compromise. Not usually a big problem in healthy relationships so it was little hardship to convince James to come with me to the Market. As we strolled around looking at this stall and that, he even showed interest in the items I was looking at. A door stopper for one, which the ever practical man in him couldn't help but state, "I can fit one for you." Well thank you dear, I thought, but I don't want a spoke sticking out of the skirting on the wall for the door to magnetize to, I would prefer a more aesthetically appealing one like this weighted anchor thanks. Instead, I concurred to have a look at other options. In the end, James was happy for us to go back to the stall to buy the anchor door stop. Well wouldn't you know it? Nope, it wasn't sold, it was still sitting there waiting for me, but the vendor's Point of Sale device couldn't connect to the wifi signa...

  Follow your nose, it knows what to do Rocks of Knowledge Given the fire ravaged state our small town was in at the time, our intended 5km bike ride to the beach had to be re-planned. The poor air quality and visibility would have compromised our health and safety and besides, other people had suffered far greater loss than our intended bike ride. We hopped into our car instead and decided to ‘see where we would end up.’ Following the roads to cleaner air we found ourselves in Tuncurry and literally followed our noses to be led hand-in-hand to the Rocks of Knowledge. Firstly following our noses was both literal and figurative as we sought out clearer air to breath and quite frankly found ourselves   at the Rocks of Knowledge . If we had ridden our bikes, we certainly would have had a wonderful time, but on this occasion instead, we got to hold hands and amble into a profound wisdom to trust our instincts – this was a broader aspect of knowledge we hadn’t expected to acq...

How to fix dating shortfalls Image credit Tyler Nix via Unsplash The 3 Dating Tendencies Quite honestly, I think all relationships have a combination of Logan's 3 dating tendencies. The trick is to juggle each of them in equal measure. The Romanticizer: The reality is that there are no perfect relationships. Period. We have to accept that there are ups and downs in every single relationship on earth. Once we can accept that fact, it is easier to move towards improving the quality of our interactions without striving for perfection. The Maximizer: Whether it's you or your partner who has unrealistic expectations of the other, it's important to state your boundaries. That is the secret sauce to maintaining integrity in your relationships. Respectful boundaries deserve respect. The Hesitater: If your self-doubt is based on either of the above tendencies, you need to look at your 'why'. Once you appreciate your personality for its strengths you will have a deeper unders...

The Three Dating Tendencies https://unsplash.com/@heftiba Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project , and researcher of human behavior, habits and happiness, interviews Logan Ury, author of How Not To Die Alone: The surprising science that will help you find love.  Logan says, "While love may be a natural instinct, dating isn't." Read on to find out why and what you can do about it. Gretchen :  You've done fascinating research. What has surprised or intrigued you – or your readers – most?   Logan :  The Three Dating Tendencies:  As a dating coach, I discovered that while all of my clients are unique, many of them suffer from dating blind spots—patterns of behavior that hold them back from finding love, but which they can't identify on their own. https://unsplash.com/@timmossholder Inspired by Gretchen (who was inspired by Freud!), I've categorized the most common blind spots into a framework called The Three Dating Tendencies. Each group struggles with u...

 Welcome and enjoy finding a whole new you. Image credit to Toa Heftiba at Unsplash It is so wonderful to have you in our reading room. We are delighted to share with you, our discovery of intricate connections that we made on our year-long dating project. Though we have been married for A Very Long Time, there is always something new to learn about each other and ourselves. This is the secret sauce to keeping your relationship alive - moving with the changing environment that we constantly find ourselves in as we progress along our daily lives.  Our daily lives become our years together. I do hope you enjoy reading about our fun and quirky dates. You'll find it  at this link.  I'd love to hear date ideas of your own, as well as your feedback once you've read 'Creating Sparks That Last'. 

Serendipitous Second Date Sapphire blue skies from the shade of a giant tree February is a pretty warm month where we live in Sydney, Australia. In fact it’s an exceptionally hot month with temperatures hovering around 48C most days, but on this sapphire blue sky day it was a pleasant 30C or round about there. Jonathan and I had set our sights on having a picnic in a recreational area of the expansive grounds of our local shire; Fagan Park. A place we know and love. We could find a quiet shaded area to place our picnic rug and unwind from our busy lives. Yet, it was our busy lives that nearly stopped our outing. James had some work to prepare for the week ahead and as it was already Sunday, there really wasn’t much time left of the weekend. Frantically he clicked away at his keyboard hammering out the required data until he was satisfied with the graphs and tables represented.  Lunchtime was almost upon us and we hadn’t packed our basket because of the uncertainty of going at all. ...