Creating Sparks That Last & All Things Relationships

 A Deeper Dive [I invite you to sit quietly, read and contemplate this resonant article by Guest Blogger Kate Jiggins] At this point in my life, I have two “jobs.” Job number one is a people helper. A listener. A psychotherapist. I have been sitting with people – witnessing their stories – for close to 20-years. Yikes! Sometimes it feels like I am just out of graduate school. Like a new puppy. Wide eyed. Enthusiastic. Image credit Canva My other “job”? I write. I tell stories about real life. Real people. Real struggles. Real triumph. Real inspiration. Stories that connect, support – hopefully inspire people to push themselves - explore what’s on the other side of that unhelpful conditioning. Limiting beliefs. Crappy stories. Those re-runs that keep us stuck.  Overtime, in my personal work, and my time with couples, I am beginning to see – more importantly understand - the power of story. Mine. Yours. Theirs. Others. It’s true, we all have unique stories. However, the big qu...

How to Change Conversation Blockers https://unsplash.com/@jonathanborba One thing is for sure: Marriage and relationships take a lot of work; a lot of honesty with ourselves and our partners. Michelle Obama speaks openly on her anniversary with Barack. [This will be the last of our 4-part mini series on effective communication in relationships.  Keep a look out for our new series next week!]  Honesty with ourselves: Let's begin there If our partner says things that make us feel uncomfortable, we have to first examine what it feels like inside of us in order to understand why we feel that way. For example, "Are you going to dinner dressed like that?" A seemingly innocent question right? WRONG. It's an accusatory question and it makes you feel defensive. Great! Now you can start to understand why it makes you feel that way. You might have any number of reasons - they'll be personal to you as we're all so very different. When you've discovered why you feel a ...

 Welcome and enjoy finding a whole new you. Image credit to Toa Heftiba at Unsplash It is so wonderful to have you in our reading room. We are delighted to share with you, our discovery of intricate connections that we made on our year-long dating project. Though we have been married for A Very Long Time, there is always something new to learn about each other and ourselves. This is the secret sauce to keeping your relationship alive - moving with the changing environment that we constantly find ourselves in as we progress along our daily lives.  Our daily lives become our years together. I do hope you enjoy reading about our fun and quirky dates. You'll find it  at this link.  I'd love to hear date ideas of your own, as well as your feedback once you've read 'Creating Sparks That Last'. 

Communication? Sometimes Non-Communication? On this particular date, James and I were grumpy with each other. We were away on holiday together in Bath, UK and started our day by parting ways for individual sightseeing. Neither of us felt like talking to the other and that is a huge sign of respecting each others' boundaries. If feelings are too heated, it often pays to walk away temporarily, before hurtful things are said and tempers flare beyond control. By the time we met up again, later in the day, our feelings had diluted with retrospection and deep thought - so vital in understanding ourselves and others in an attempt to be respectful and not lose our temper. The following is an excerpt from my travel journal: Our melancholy overflowed into our tiny dorm room at the YMCA. We very seriously considered cancelling the rest of our trip, and we were only 3 months in! After a thoroughly heated discussion about the pros and cons of packing up and going home, we acknowledged that thi...