Creating Sparks That Last & All Things Relationships

And Personal Reflection Instagram: @meganruthphotography_ downloaded via Unsplash Earlier this week, I witnessed the first turning of yellow leaves heralding the start of autumn. Wait!! I wailed, I'm not ready. This made me take stock: Why was I not ready? I've known all my life that summer segues into autumn. So why am I not ready? @primipil via Unsplash Personal reflection leads to change It's the same for our seasons in life. Personal reflection changes with each stage of life. Relationship boundaries shapeshift according to our status, commitment and amount of time together, i.e. child-raising years compared to empty-nester years, or career peaks versus slowing down your workload. That brings me to today's discussion. Personal reflection corresponds directly to our evolving boundaries. And if the people in our lives are not (or cannot be) in sync with our changing parameters, then we need to speak our mind so they can either level up or respect our growth. When we w...

What Could Possibly Go Wrong? This photo really annoyed me!  But I'll tell you more about that in a minute.  It was taken as we ascended our way out of the depths  of Bright Angel Trail in the Grand Canyon. As you might know, my memoir, En Route , takes us on a trip around the world. Within those travels, comes the unraveling of our relationship and a stealthy dose of personal growth, inspiration and life lessons thrown in. But this is not a review. The purpose of today's blog post is to invite the reader behind the eyes of the author. To see the unraveling take place and to understand her motivation for writing her life on the pages of a book for all to read. Below, are a few questions you might find helpful in feeling the emotions behind the decisions that the author has made. • What is the significance of the title? En Route suggests moving towards a destination, and the subtitle, The Best Is Yet To Be, indicates that better things are to come. It is a line from the po...

How Do You Portray Yourself to the World? Your body is your home. Have you ever wondered what compels you to return home at the end of each day? What draws you into that space? What magnetism attracts you to the energy there? Whilst I can’t answer on your behalf, here’s what I know from someone who has lived in 2 countries, semi-permanently lived in a third and travelled for a year without a place to call home yet feeling ‘at home’ in each accommodation. Self-awareness in your space: You are with yourself constantly. How do you perceive yourself? Does that align with how the world sees you? How you wish the world to see you? I’ve noticed that the things that bring me peace are the very things that define me. They denote that eternal question of ‘Who am I?’ Not in a career or relationship perspective, just me, in my own space and not what the world sees from the outside. So what are these things that bring me peace, and how do they relate to who I am and how I portray myself to the wor...

Nobody Perceives You the Way You Perceive Yourself Frida Kahlo Cover image from the book; Frida Kahlo's Garden I am the person I know best.   Quote from Frida Kahlo regarding her self portraits. I have been fascinated by Frida Kahlo's expression of self for many years. Her use of light and shadow in her creativity depicts, closely, her awareness of shadow and brightness in herself. Light and shadow that each of us have. The quote above is preceded by deeper reflection: I paint self-portraits because I am so often alone, because I am the person I know best. For me, alone time has always been paramount to me thriving in a noisy, busy world. Alone but not lonely, which I think is what tormented Frida somewhat. That opinion is my own based on the fact that she divorced her husband, Diego Rivera and ended her longtime affair with photographer Nickolas Muray in the same year. Anyway, this is not a study on Frida Kahlo, merely a reflection of how well she knew herself and how that led...

Are You Your Own Stumbling Block to Happiness? Hello Blog Family! It's been a hot minute since you last heard from me.  Thank you for your patience while I made a huge move, relocating house, home, hearth and heart. As you can tell, this move was a big deal for me, moving far away from my family. This may seem counterintuitive to my happiness but the joy I have already found after just two weeks in my new home far outshines any shadow of sadness that might have been lingering.  https://unsplash.com/@taiscaptures 5 Things Making Me Happy This Week For that reason, I wanted to share with you the pleasures I have gained from setting up home in a far away place: Finding new interests that excite ME: First off, the emphasis is on 'me' because without my own pleasures in life, I have very little joy to impart to others, whether intentionally or by exuding my vibe. It's not necessarily big events or material possessions for me, it's the miniscule shift in awareness . When ...

If Not Ourselves, Then Who?  [ I invite you to take in the information below and apply it to your daily self-care routine as set out by our Guest Blogger Jessica Ruiz] Javier Allegue Barros via Unsplash If we don’t take good care of ourselves, who will? Self-care is very important.  We are sometimes so busy taking care of others that we forget to take care of ourselves.   There are different types of self-care:   Exercising is one and it helps you to relieve            stress.  Exercising can be fun.  Some people like            dancing.                I love to dance and I love music.               Dancing is a fun way to exercise. Don’t get me              wrong, I know that things happen, and it              is hard to exercise, but ...

  Reviving a Lost Art Image credit Jill Wellington courtesy of Pexels  [I invite you to read this thought-provoking article on self-reflection by guest blogger Janice Melmed] I’ve been feeling quite overwhelmed lately. There has been so much going on in my life and I have felt pulled in so many directions at once. Distracted and not fully present, I reversed my car into a lamp post and jarred to a stop. I drove carefully home and I finally pressed pause on the chaos. I sat down and for a few moments I tuned into my body and I asked myself what I needed. Never mind what everyone else who I was giving my energy to needed, what did I need? I was surprised when the answer came back as gentle loving kindness. I decided to explore that a little deeper and to really understand what it was I was craving. Closing my eyes, I focused on my breathing, and once I was still, I allowed my senses to explore the words.   Gentleness brought images to mind of soft pastel colours, the ...

Self Care Ideas https://unsplash.com/@taiamint [The last in our Self-Love mini-series] “You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.”   Diane Von Furstenberg Last week our post was a little on the long side. I really didn’t want to leave anything out because I felt it was all so important for our wellbeing. This week though, we have a 1 minute self-care video to watch. Enjoy the soothing music and simple self-care suggestions. Show yourself a little love    If you’d like to read last week’s post in snatches, here’s the link: The Art of Restorative Self-Love https://unsplash.com/@avasol How do you know when you're starting to need a little extra self-care?  For example, I get very sweary and I don't normally speak like that, so I know that it's time to pay attention to my stressors and find healthy ways to eliminate them. Do you have a self-care routine or ritual?

Self Worth is Such an Underestimated Superpower “I think it's important to have a great relationship with ourselves before we can expect a better relationship with our partner." Jude -  Quantum Healing Connection Welcome to our new mini-series: Our Relationship with Ourselves Photo by Drew Colins on Unsplash "I determine my self-worth from now on!" This was me after a particularly tough disagreement with my husband of 35+ years. Disagreements happen. They're a fact of life, but when our self-worth is undermined we have to stand up for ourselves. That was a pivotal moment in our relationship. It truly gave me a Superpower I had never owned before. It helped me understand that I do not need to be small to fit someone else's ego; I do not need to keep quiet when I disagree - I found my self-worth Superpower that day and it helped both of us forge a healthier environment for our relationship. Ali and Cameron Daddo speak of this concept in their 'Separate Bat...