Mental Wellbeing

It’s Not Funny

Treating our mental health well like we should our physical health is a necessity. To this end, James and I indulged ourselves with a Gold Class movie night out. We went the whole hog as they say – pre-ordering snacks to be delivered to us periodically through the movie. Lounging back in our recliner chairs sipping on tannin rich merlot, the aroma swirling around my nostrils, I was basking in the sheer opulence.   

These are important moments to take for ourselves, and each other.  The movie we chose was Joker. In light of a recent emotional meltdown I had had regarding my career, this was a particularly sensitive story for us to follow. It was a dark storyline with uncomfortable truths to follow, but oh so necessary for us as individuals and for the greater community as a universal whole. Doing something out of the ordinary, watching a movie out of the ordinary nudges us towards growth. Understanding of others. Tolerance towards others. Compassion towards our own state or sense of being​. 

Thought-provoking, socially inept, mental health complexities brought to the fore, Joker was disturbingly, brutally worthwhile to watch. Incidentally Joaquin Phoenix won the Oscar that year for his role as the main actor, creating worldwide awareness of this prickly condition. Airing it to be a topic to be discussed openly.  

It is time to take mental wellness seriously.  James and I drew closer as a couple due to being able to speak more openly about our fragilities and vulnerabilities as a direct result of watching Joker. It’s not that we were never close enough to have those awkward conversations, it was just that we had never seen the necessity before. Now we knew that it is most definitely not healthy to store our concerns in our heads. And it is most decidedly unnecessary too. There is no shame in being emotionally fragile and the more we talk about this, the better not only do we ourselves feel, but the better our community will be with happier more stable citizens in it. And herein lies the key – talking. No-one can hear you if you don’t say anything. People are fickle and can misinterpret warning signs or silence in and from others as being antisocial or ‘disturbed’. Most people tend to shy away from those situations purely because they don’t know how to handle them. So our responsibilities as a community are two-fold then – first let’s remove the stigma towards mental unrest and let’s educate the broader society in ways to encourage uncomfortable communication regarding mental stability, thereby creating healthy, happier human beings. We all have our insecurities and when they are acknowledged, we feel valued. Mental health/unrest/instability – call it what you will – comes in many shapes and sizes. Depression, breakdown, meltdown, disorders, lack of confidence, complexes and many others that I am undoubtedly unaware of, all need to be embraced, faced and dealt with sensitively and effectively. That does not mean giving someone a pill to ‘help them get better’, that is not how mental illness works. It needs to be healed from inside one’s head as well, because that is where it starts and that is where the problem lies.  

Wow, somehow this date became a passion project on mental wellbeing.   James and I are more aware of each others’ sensitivities because of our growing awareness of each others’ needs, strengths and failings. When you love someone, you love the whole gamut of them. Not one of us is perfect and even when we first meet the love of our life, we often overlook their idiosyncrasies but in a long-term marriage such as ours, those idiosyncrasies can no longer be overlooked because they become an insidious part of daily routine. They have to be loved – not liked – but if you continue to love the very faults you fell in love with, you will learn to tolerate them to a greater level of growth.