Awkward Conversations and How to Fix Them

How to Change Conversation Blockers

https://unsplash.com/@jonathanborba

One thing is for sure: Marriage and relationships take a lot of work; a lot of honesty with ourselves and our partners. Michelle Obama speaks openly on her anniversary with Barack.

[This will be the last of our 4-part mini series on effective communication in relationships. 

Keep a look out for our new series next week!] 

Honesty with ourselves: Let's begin there

If our partner says things that make us feel uncomfortable, we have to first examine what it feels like inside of us in order to understand why we feel that way.

For example, "Are you going to dinner dressed like that?"

A seemingly innocent question right?

WRONG.

It's an accusatory question and it makes you feel defensive.

Great! Now you can start to understand why it makes you feel that way.

You might have any number of reasons - they'll be personal to you as we're all so very different.

When you've discovered why you feel a certain way, you are better equipped to absorb the question about your outfit without judgement.

You're able to answer with confidence, "Yes I am." Head held high, no explanation necessary.

After all, you chose that outfit with particular reasons in mind, so they are yours to keep.

Being honest with ourselves means acknowledging our feelings, NOT hiding them, but also not letting them consume us.

Once you've given your feelings a nod of acceptance, maintain the status quo of being true to you, by validating your reasons for your choices - validating them to yourself primarily - but if you're in a relationship where you feel better explaining yourself, you're fully entitled to do that.

These are awkward conversations to have, no doubt about it but once you can be honest with yourself, you can begin to be honest with your partner.

Listen Learn Love

https://unsplash.com/@brett_jordan

* Get the lowdown on ways to have deeper conversations here: Take me there!

Honesty with our Partner

Now let's turn the tables and suggest you're not a fan of your partner's outfit. They're completely entitled to wear it remember, just like you were to wear yours.

How might you better guide the conversation to be a discussion and not an accusatory question?

Some scenario's might go something like this, "I like that shirt you're wearing, but the blue one really brings out your eyes." It's not meant to be a BS sandwich, it's meant to be an honest compliment.

Chances are their eyes will light up BUT if they look downcast at the thought of you not liking what they're wearing, reassure them with a swift comeback, "I don't expect you to change, you're always my babe/honey/sweetheart no matter what you're wearing."

It's still an awkward conversation, but it's an honest conversation.

Nothing you've said is hurtful or untrue. 

I mean, she wore heels to the beach!

https://unsplash.com/@jakobowens1

*Get inspired! Click to see 4 easy ways to deepen your connection with your love: Show me the magic!

Learning about ourselves is liberating. That's one thing I've learned. I'd love to hear some of the things you've learned about marriage or relationships, and about yourself. Let me know in the comments. 

Join our happy readers today! I'm in!