Creating Sparks That Last & All Things Relationships

Connect Through Kindliness [kindly concern, interest, or support] @johnschnobrich Unsplash Intimacy is not only physical connection, it is also mindful connection. People start to heal when they feel heard. Mindful Listening: "Focus on your partner and really listen in to what they're telling you."  Making Couples Happy - John Aiken ❤ Listen, but don't fix                 - just empathise. ❤ Listen, but don't interrupt      - just connect. ❤ Listen, but don't judge             - just understand. This kind of listening helps people connect through empathy, or as I prefer to call it, kindliness . To me kindliness is more tangible. Empathy can seem a bit vague to those who don't have it, whereas kindliness gives a better indication of what is expected; concern, interest, support. When you listen without interrupting, you become present. Using facial expressions and gentle gestures strengthens your presence. When you listen without jumping to conclusions or t

 Body Language Speaks Volumes https://unsplash.com/@lawlesscapture "The first important point to realize is that only a small part of what you are communicating at any moment is coming from the actual words you are saying. There are three ways that we are constantly sending out messages to those around us:  body language, tone of voice and actual words." - Decoding Love by Andrew Trees I've done extensive research in the art of communicating, particularly with people who are emotionally vulnerable. To continue our communication thread, we'll look at a variety of ways we can be more receptive to our partners' needs and convey our message with more awareness and perhaps subtlety. In the book Decoding Love, Andrew Trees goes on to say, "In most casual conversations, what we say is the least important of the three aspects of communication."  Consider a conversation you're having with someone while they're checking their mobile phone. This is a tra

How to Handle Difficult Conversations I have been told so many times that I'm too sensitive. I've started responding with, "You say that like it's a bad thing." Honestly though, we are not too much of anything. There are sensitive people and there are not-so-sensitive people. We are simply that which makes us, us. https://unsplash.com/@css Thank you to everyone who has responded with suggestions for our new series on the blog. We'll start with communication, specifically with highly sensitive people through difficult conversations. New Blog Series Highly Sensitive People – How to handle difficult conversations Difficult conversations are part of all relationships. They are awkward, uncomfortable and confronting, but they need to be had. If one, or both, of you is highly sensitive, the conversation is that much more difficult to navigate. If one, or both, of you is hot-headed, the conversation falls to pieces too quickly. Mark Twain Quote: I can live for tw

What aspect of relationships would you like to discuss in our new series? Image credit Priscilla du Preez via Unsplash Hi blogger fam, I'm dropping into your inbox on a Monday instead of Friday today - SURPRISE! New Blog Series I'm starting a fresh conversation here on the blog and I'd appreciate your input. But more on that in a minute. The reason for today's post is to let you know that I'll be sending out an email to all my blog fam later in the week. The topic is the same, but I needed to give you a heads-up. The reason for the heads-up is because I'll be sending the email via Mailerlite through my gmail address. If you don't already have me in your inbox, it might mark it as suspicious. It even marked it as suspicious for me when I sent myself a tester email haha. Image credit Harli Marten via Unsplash Navigating relationships can be tricky Tell me I'm not the only one who feels like this, right? And so, I'm excited to launch a brand new series

 A Good Relationship Is Something You Make Image credit @carolinamarinelli on Unsplash Setting goals as a couple helps unify your focus. It connects your purpose for your relationship and ensures that you are both invested in its longevity. Working towards the longevity of your relationship can take effort, but setting goals together is one of the easiest ways to do it. Because you're both invested in the same outcome of that particular goal, it gives your relationship direction and purpose. As quoted from Revive Your Midlife Marriage - Midlife Marriage Strategist on Instagram: A good marriage isn't something you find. It's something you make, and you have to keep on making it every single day. She goes on to ask: 'Are you accepting things that could really be different if you put a little time, energy, and intention into it?' Marriage can feel overwhelming and make you feel like you don't have the energy to work on it, so we ignore what's happening and try

Dormant Feelings Can Be Re-Ignited You can also find new ways to feel by learning more about each other. To recap on last weeks’ post about honest and open vulnerability and making a commitment to the happiness of your relationship, I’ve got a few pointers below to steer the process in the right direction.  To learn a little more about your mate it’ll help to understand some of these ideas: Unique         🔸 What are your interests, individually and as a couple? Connect     🔸Physically and emotionally with eye contact Consistent     🔸 Commit ahead of time to a time frame that suits both your calendars for date events Vulnerability   🔸 Be prepared to talk of sensitive issues without fear of betrayal Laughter     🔸It really is the best medicine ; choose outings that tickle your funny bone I am not a marriage counsellor, I’m not even a relationship guide; what I am, is a wife. I have been a wife to the same man for 33 years. I won’t say always happily because that would b

FIND YOUR UNIQUE SPARK Choose ways to ignite your relationship that make both of you happy Image credit @casey-horner via Unsplash ♥ Notice how I said ‘unique’?   There is no one size fits all to a relationship so don’t compare your relationship to anyone else’s.  Each one is a unique fit. I largely chose our dates myself for Date Year but I made sure to integrate James’ preferences as well. This is how our experiences became unique to us. I use words like ‘both’, ‘our’ and ‘us’ because marriage is exclusively about the two of you. Three’s a crowd, no doubt about it. We’re not talking about socializing, we’re talking about connecting. Your marriage needs to grow the two of you together so choose your date experiences wisely. ♥ Be consistent. Don’t let the inconvenience of everyday life get in the way of making a commitment to the happiness of your marriage.                           ♥ Regularity brings results. A once-off just won't cut it. ♥ Honest and open vulnerability is a nece