Creating Sparks That Last & All Things Relationships

Self Care Ideas https://unsplash.com/@taiamint [The last in our Self-Love mini-series] “You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.”   Diane Von Furstenberg Last week our post was a little on the long side. I really didn’t want to leave anything out because I felt it was all so important for our wellbeing. This week though, we have a 1 minute self-care video to watch. Enjoy the soothing music and simple self-care suggestions. Show yourself a little love    If you’d like to read last week’s post in snatches, here’s the link: The Art of Restorative Self-Love https://unsplash.com/@avasol How do you know when you're starting to need a little extra self-care?  For example, I get very sweary and I don't normally speak like that, so I know that it's time to pay attention to my stressors and find healthy ways to eliminate them. Do you have a self-care routine or ritual?

That Depends on YOU Dear Reader And by you, I mean how you are treating yourself Yes, you have responsibilities and commitments and people who depend on you, BUT, you have to care for yourself first if you are to have anything left to give - Elora Canne https://unsplash.com/@quincoetzee I wrote the following article to help with my recovery, after an out-of-the-blue mental breakdown at work. So I know that the tiny steps I have outlined WORK. They will significantly impact your mental state positively and your outlook for the day ahead: The Art of Restorative Self-Love As a recovering Meltdown Survivor, this is what I’ve learnt.   No-one can love another, male or female, until you love yourself entirely. Not with the vanity of feeling better than anyone else and not by exerting power over another. Self-love involves being gentle with yourself in all interactions, even when you are gently letting go of a person who no longer embraces your desire to live calmly. No human bein...

How to Heal Your Own Heart and Still Be Kind to Others Welcome to the second instalment in our new mini-series Our Relationship with Ourselves                                                                     https://unsplash.com/@bartlarueeppler Spiritually, the four chambers of the heart represent: ♥  Compassion:  Kindness, c oncern, consi deration, c are      ♥   Love: F ondness, rev erence, r espect, v alue ♥   Understanding:   Thoughtful, a ltruistic, a ccepting, p atient ♥   Emotion:   Feeling, s entiment, p assion, s ensation https://unsplash.com/@snowidesignz                               ...

Self Worth is Such an Underestimated Superpower “I think it's important to have a great relationship with ourselves before we can expect a better relationship with our partner." Jude -  Quantum Healing Connection Welcome to our new mini-series: Our Relationship with Ourselves Photo by Drew Colins on Unsplash "I determine my self-worth from now on!" This was me after a particularly tough disagreement with my husband of 35+ years. Disagreements happen. They're a fact of life, but when our self-worth is undermined we have to stand up for ourselves. That was a pivotal moment in our relationship. It truly gave me a Superpower I had never owned before. It helped me understand that I do not need to be small to fit someone else's ego; I do not need to keep quiet when I disagree - I found my self-worth Superpower that day and it helped both of us forge a healthier environment for our relationship. Ali and Cameron Daddo speak of this concept in their 'Separate Bat...

How to Change Conversation Blockers https://unsplash.com/@jonathanborba One thing is for sure: Marriage and relationships take a lot of work; a lot of honesty with ourselves and our partners. Michelle Obama speaks openly on her anniversary with Barack. [This will be the last of our 4-part mini series on effective communication in relationships.  Keep a look out for our new series next week!]  Honesty with ourselves: Let's begin there If our partner says things that make us feel uncomfortable, we have to first examine what it feels like inside of us in order to understand why we feel that way. For example, "Are you going to dinner dressed like that?" A seemingly innocent question right? WRONG. It's an accusatory question and it makes you feel defensive. Great! Now you can start to understand why it makes you feel that way. You might have any number of reasons - they'll be personal to you as we're all so very different. When you've discovered why you feel a ...

Connect Through Kindliness [kindly concern, interest, or support] @johnschnobrich Unsplash Intimacy is not only physical connection, it is also mindful connection. People start to heal when they feel heard. Mindful Listening: "Focus on your partner and really listen in to what they're telling you."  Making Couples Happy - John Aiken ❤ Listen, but don't fix                 - just empathise. ❤ Listen, but don't interrupt      - just connect. ❤ Listen, but don't judge             - just understand. This kind of listening helps people connect through empathy, or as I prefer to call it, kindliness . To me kindliness is more tangible. Empathy can seem a bit vague to those who don't have it, whereas kindliness gives a better indication of what is expected; concern, interest, support. When you listen without interrupting, you become present. Using facial expressions and gentle gestures strengthe...

 Body Language Speaks Volumes https://unsplash.com/@lawlesscapture "The first important point to realize is that only a small part of what you are communicating at any moment is coming from the actual words you are saying. There are three ways that we are constantly sending out messages to those around us:  body language, tone of voice and actual words." - Decoding Love by Andrew Trees I've done extensive research in the art of communicating, particularly with people who are emotionally vulnerable. To continue our communication thread, we'll look at a variety of ways we can be more receptive to our partners' needs and convey our message with more awareness and perhaps subtlety. In the book Decoding Love, Andrew Trees goes on to say, "In most casual conversations, what we say is the least important of the three aspects of communication."  Consider a conversation you're having with someone while they're checking their mobile phone. This is a tra...